Daily Dose of Morning Latte

As a teenager, i have things that i'm very scared to face to. one of those things are probably normal like, scared to be alone in dark places, scared of ghosts, scared of dogs, and many other things i'm afraid of as a part of being a normal teenager.
But, there is one thing i'm really afraid this will happen in my life. And what is it?
I'm afraid of growing up and becoming an adult.
At the age of 16, most people maybe excited of what will happen to them when they grow up and becoming an adult. But, on the contrary, i'm afraid. I'm really scared to just imagine myself in 20s. Am i going to succes? am i going to make my parents happy? can i achieve my dreams?
those thoughts really make me afraid to face the future. I'm so scared to see myself failing, and only be a black sheep to my family. It's like even if i try enough, there are still those possibilities that i will fail, and i can't bear it.
At the age of 17, i'm still scared of growing up. Because what i'm thinking of is slowly becoming true. i fail at SNMPTN and SBMPTN and all those other exams i'm getting to get into college. But Allah still loves me, now i'm going to one of PTN i dream of to get enrolled into. Still, i'm afraid that i'll fail my grades and i can't never be good enough to my parents and i fail in this growing up phase.
At the age of 18, i learn many things. I slowly erase those bad thougths that make me afraid of growing up. I slowly realize, growing up doesn't mean you have to be perfect to be success in this phase. I'm starting to have targets too, targets that i'm starting to accomplish one by one. I'm starting to not afraid of thinking what my future will be, and i'm not afraid of making decisions again. I'm not running away from growing up again, and i'm starting to walk my path and make it right the way i want to. There are many things that people in my university have taught me. I'm so glad i get enrolled in my current university, because i can learn many things from amazing people.
The most important thing i learn is, you don't have to be rich and luxury to be happy, you can get your happiness from just small things and from that small things, you can get those big things that you are dreaming of all the time

Wah, apa kabar sih ini blog, udah lama banget rasanya gak ngelirik, apalagi apdet blog ini
rasanya kangen ya liat post-post yang udah lama, post dari jaman SMP, terus jaman SMA, sampe blog ini ternyata masih kepake sampe aku kuliah, hahaha.
banyak yang berubah, setelah melewati tahun demi tahun. Ada saat dimana aku ngerasa aku bener-bener jatuh, dan ada saat dimana aku ngerasa aku benar-benar ada di titik tertinggi kehidupanku, yah itulah namanya hidup. Dimanapun kita berada, life must go on. Apapun yang terjadi, baik atau buruk, tetap aja sampai sekarang aku belum pernah dengar ada manusia yang bisa memberhentikan waktu.
Yah sekedar info soal kuliah sih, sekarang kuliah di Surabaya. Tepatnya di Institut Teknologi Sepuluh Nopember, biasanya sih disingkat ITS. Ingat ya, Institut Teknologi SEPULUH NOPEMBER. Bukan Surabaya, Semarang, apalagi Solo, jauh amat nyasarnya sampe Solo.
Jurusannya? sebenarnya amat melenceng dari rencana awal, dari cita-cita SMA. Cita-cita SMA sih emang harus masuk ke Institut bukan Universitas, adn jurusannya harus Teknik yang berhubungan dengan tambang dan minyak. Itu waktu kelas 1 SMA, masih ingat banget masih polos cita-cita masih setinggi langit waktu itu :'). Terus seiring berjalannya waktu jatuh cinta banget sama yang namanya Biologi, dan sampe sekarang pun aku masih ada cita-cita buat jadi seorang Scientist di bidang Biologi. Tapi ternyata, Allah berkata lain, sekaran gaku berada di Jurusan Sistem Informasi. Jurusan yang aku gak pernah menyangka bakal masuk. Sedangkan dengar temenku yang masuk SI di UI aja aku mikir, gila dia mau milih jurusan itu, kan susah, ngoding dan sebagainya. awalnya sih aku udah parno duluan, apa bisa survive, apalagi di Surabaya yang jauhnya bukan main dari Medan, naik pesawat aja butuh 3 jam, sedangakn aku ke Singapore atau Malaysia aja cuma butuh waktu 45 menit - 1 jam.
Sempat bimbang, dan mungkin inilah salah satu titik dimana aku ngerasa paling down, paling bawah. Tapi papa waktu itu semangat banget, dia bangga. Walaupun gak aku tunjukkin di depan papa, tapi jujur aja, aku takut waktu itu. Surabaya kotanya gimana aja aku ga tau, tapi semua gara-gara papa dan mama, sampe sekarang aku bisa bertahan dan gak menyesali keputusanku untuk berada disini.
sekian dulu a not so simple hello from me ternyata, hahaha, Assalamualaikum!